The Dance

They'd been friends since elementary school. Best friends. They went fishing, skinny dipping, frog chasing, tree climbing, bicycle riding, and haunted house adventuring since the third grade. Then, "SHE" began to change physically. She no longer looked like a boy, heck no, she was getting bumps and curves in all the right places. Or wrong places, it was really a matter of perspective. She actually made him wear a swim suit when swimming in the creek now. However, they still went fishing, frog chasing, tree climbing, bicycle riding, and haunted house adventuring together. They just would not go swimming "nekkid" anymore. Time went on for the two friends.
They tried the new fangled kissing that everyone was just crazy about, but it was worse than trying to practice kissing with one's brother or sister. They made it through puberty, and thoroughly enjoyed driving their respective parents crazy, with continual questions about sex, even though they already knew the answers. It was just sooooooo much fun, asking embarassing questions, and watching their parents squirm.
More time elapsed and the two friends soon found themselves getting ready to graduate from high school, and then progress on to college. Due to being sent to different colleges, they decided to dance with nobody else at the prom, but themselves. He picked her up at her house precisely at seven that evening. The evening of the prom. She came to the door dressed in a green evening gown, elegantly laced with ribbons and spider web lacing. Her light brunette hair was swept back and held in place by a crystal clasp. Her long locks fell to the small of her bare back. Large green eyes stared deeply into his soul as she smiled, her beautiful pearly white teeth glistening, her olive skin giving an actual soft glow in the moonlight. He stood there, and for the first time in his life, knew he actually did have romantic feelings for this fine and lovely young lady. He escorted her to the waiting car that was going to ferry them to the prom. They were not being driven to the prom by a parent, no, he paid for a limo with attendent driver. Nothing would spoil this night for them. He asked her if she would like to stop someplace for a bite to eat before the prom? She promptly replied, that she had just eaten a fairly large meal before he arrived. She stated she wanted to have a lot of energy to enjoy a night of dancing and frivolity.
They arrived at the country club banquet hall and gave the doorman their invitations to the prom. He checked and motioned for them to go inside. Once they were inside they began to dance. When the rock band played fast music, most of the other guys in the banquet hall either remained with their respective dates, or simply clustered about to talk to one another. However, when the band played slow music, boys came out to the woodwork like scurrying cockroaches to get to the queen. Yes, she was by far the most beautiful girl at the prom that night. Time and time again he had to tell the other boys she was his that night. Time and time again, she agreed with him and told the wannabe suitors that she was taken for the night. Though they admonished the other young men that it was a useless ploy, the other young men kept coming back to beg a dance with her.
Suddenly, the band announced they would be taking a thirty minute break.
Cautiously, he asked her if she would like some punch. She replied that she would. He walked toward the long table with the huge punch bowl and retrieved a goblet of punch for each of them, turned, and began to make his way back to his girl. Once he had turned to walk back to her, he noticed that nearly every young man in the banquet hall was gathered around her, and attempting to talk to her.
Then the surprise of their young lives took place.
There was a gurgling sound that seemed to be coming from her stomach area. Her face began turning a slight shade of red, and then there was a loud explosion. Four things happened simultaneously: Her evening gown lifted at the back. A loud boom was heard to come from that area. A murderous stench blossomed, as if it were a mushroom cloud formed by an atomic bomb being detonated, and....all those young men began to swiftly depart from her general area. Most of the young men were retching and gagging as they left her.
Her only response was to say quietly, "Excuse me."
Her date's response was to set down one of the goblets, slap his thigh, and loudly exclaim for all to hear,
"Hot Dayum, I wish I could FART like that!"